For my Grandma

This is for my grandma who turned 70 today and who really is an admireable woman. I mean, she's 70 and she was unsatisfied today because she got tired after walking for over two hours! She's so vital, she's active, she does so many  things... Really, I wish, I pray that when I'll be 70 I'll be just like her.

I learned a lot about my grandma today. Actually I learn very much about her every time I see her because I've known her only at the age of twelve,  since my mom and my grandma didn't talk to each other for a long time... I remember that one day, when I was four or five years old, she came to our house; it was me who opeed the door and she was just beautiful. She had long hair back then, a kind and soft face. Mom sent me away and she yelled at grandma, I was in the living-room, my hands on my ears not to hear her. That was the first time I met my grandma. And I wish that I would have known here ealrier, not only at the age of  twelve. There would've been so many things she would'v taught me. My talent for languages - I think I inherited it form my grandma. Sometimes genes skip one genration. I really believe this is the case. She would've been the one to help me, to push me, to encourage me. But I didn't know her. In Germany  the region "Saarland" was the last region to abolish corporal punishment at school - thanks to my grandma, who talked in public to politicians,  students,  parents thereby creating a movement against corporel punishment. She is an admireable woman.

Today was so moving. When we arrived at my grandmother's place, she'd prepared everything for us, she'd put up little snacks everywhere,  bought drinks that she usually doesn't by but of which she knows that we like them. And when we arrived you could just see in her eyes how happy she was to see us, how happy she was to show us that she'd spent the whole morning and half of the afternoon preparing everything for our visit - it just made me cry, really.

I wonder if she feels lonely sometimes. I wonder if, looking back on seventy years, there are many things that she regrets, if there are many things that she would do in a different way if she had the chance to. And it fills me with joy, with a pleasure deep, deep in my heart to see in her eyes, in her smile, to hear in the way she laughs and speaks that this doesn't seem to be the case. She really gives the impression of being happy, glad, joyful, satisfied with what she's done and with what she's doing. I've rarely felt a pleasure so satisfying, so filling. It is so beautiful that it makes you cry.

I love you, Grandma,  love you from the bottom of my heart,  I am so happy to know you.

Cecilia Carax

2.6.08 22:31

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